"While my partners and I had cased this old lady's house for weeks, we didn't have an Attorney to manufacture an alibi for us if we accidentally left some fingerprints or DNA for the pigs to find. To protect ourselves in our business we gave the Lie Firm a retainer to help us get started with insurance and a set of pre-planned lies that worked for us. He gave us a small bag of skin particles and hairs (with roots) from another criminal (who did not pay him) that we were directed to drop around inside the victim's house as a decoy. It worked great!
"I fully endorse Lie Firm for their ability to explain all the options to their client and to guide them to choose the one that gets results. My attoreny told me not to come to his office without my cane and a limp, because he said it would hurt my personal injury case , and prevent a settlement favorable to me, if I was seen that close to the court house without any apparent injury. On the weekends though, I used my chainsaw to cut down trees on my neighbor's property without permission , for firewood. When the neighbor found out I was cutting her trees, and confronted me, I threw stones at her and knocked her down and kicked her in the stomach and head. At least, that's what she said to the Judges. The first Lie Firm helped me shake down the company for a great settlement. After I got my settlement, I pretended to be poor but living in a lakefront house in poverty, so I could get get free legal representation against the lady who I stoned and kicked and stole trees from when she sued me. When Legal Aide found out I had a pile of money from the settlement, they dropped me as a client. But, other Lie Firms representing other defendants came to my aid.
"The Lie firm sent a threatening 'Snitches Get Stitches' letter to the racists Indians who owned the convenience store, threatening them with a 'civil rights' lawsuit if they and the pigs caused "disproportionate incarceration" of black shoplifters like me and my black homies. So with our 'civil rights' entitlement to steal without punishment, me and my homies could just walk in and take whatever we wanted at any time without paying anything or it. I was rightfully stealing some cigarillos when the runt Indian racist store clerk followed me out, so I turned to him and showed him my practiced 'demon face' and threatened to harm him. It worked out great like always and so me and my homie just strolled away walking down the middle of the street without no worry about being arrested for the strong-arm robbery I had just committed. And, then I took a chance to steal a gun from a racist white police officer and my mom even got on TV during the Democrat National Convention in 2016!"
"When I stepped out in font of that Audi, my first thought was that I hoped my Lieyer would be able to get me a good settlement for my pain and suffering. Lie Firm made sure that I was compensated in a way that provided all of us with a secure future."
"Thank you so much, Lie Firm, for helping me sort through all my options and find the one (Perjury, and Judge-Bribery) that felt truly right for me."
"When I really needed a good team in my corner, Lie Firm was there. Their ability to work together with "Expert" Liars to get the results I needed was nothing short of exemplary."